alveire

I will feel myself killed, if I need to fade away...
Those were best times... Thank you and sorry...

В процессе подготовки к экзамену часто возникают вопросы. Приходится постоянно лазить в интернет, чтобы разъяснить что-либо, не очень понятное в конспекте. В такие моменты яндекс убивает... =)))

Alright.
What's the use of thinking: sometimes we don't need to spend a lot of money for PCR (Polymerase Chain Reaction). Using the synthesis in vivo is much cheaper. Only utilizing glucose, vitamins, water and other.

Need only a good film, many chocolate and warm arms.
Waiting until the evening of 20th January's come.

New Year's happend.
Suddenly.
Good morning, my friends...

I just want to cry.

Yesterday my patron from laboratory called me up to say that she wouldn't work today.
I was incredibly glad, because it meaned that I could stay home, but only for two minutes. Too much work at home, too many matters are pressing.
Woke up at 9 a.m. and I'm still sitting here with my computer, with STATISTICA and screaming quietly...
I forgot about food and only now I've realized that during all day I was drinking only mineral water >___<

Next week will be awful. I believe in my brain and my tolerance.
Trying to be more calm.
Trying to be less expressive.
Trying not to sleep NOW.
Trying to concentrate................ ... .. . .

ах :)

I look through and see only the favour.
You've just noticed that I should be more calm. You're undoubtedly right.
But...
I know that I can't.
Too expressive, too emotional.
The planted bomb can't be quiet.
Only if it sleeps, but I don't.
So... ;)

Need just a little to feel myself a Woman.
Anyway.

Three simple phases:
1) Once it was a childs dream;
2) Take me to the magic of the moment;
3) Thanks for making me a fighter.

Sad, very sad.
=(((((((((((

But no time to cry... (c)
Anyway.

In moments like that I abandon all pretence that everything is OK...

Now I have smth, that noone'll take away. Never.
Now I'm easy in my mind. Not self confidence, not in this way, but confidence in tomorrow - smth, that I really didn't feel before.

Now you're standing behind the gates - I'll keep you out.
Because you had enough time to take right decision.
Because you had too much cases to entry the gates - the open gates.
For too long they were open.

There's no ahy role for my proud to play: I just feel, how hard for me to find theme for speak every time we meet. You're becomming harder and harder to understand, I'm tired. And the life experience - wice experience - tells me, that it wouldn't be easy any more.
Why?
I don't care about you, now it's not your business.
NOW I can be some kind of an egoist.

Probably, I need to spend less time in lady's company - it's breaking.
Probably, I need to be more positive.

Two days of good mood - my limit.Because after I feel everithing, but not light. Everyone, but not myself.

But I built my own Castle. Yep, it's only on paper, but...
But I Know about warm big fireplace, about comfort and safety inside.
Yes, I believe: inside I'll be in safe.

Yes, I sleep only in black socks, drink only green tee and fall in love only with failures!
I'm going to turn out a failor...

Well, I have a lot to say.
Our faculty makes me very anxious about my future.
When I passed my exams, I couldn't even imagine that some years later I'll be operating on animals, making them dead after long chronic experients. (ohhh, I shudder at the thought of the word "euthanasia")
I knew, that on some departments It is the main direction, but I wanted studying biochemistry, where you don't need to go through such a practice... This was a fact before our dean's office decided to change the programm radically...
Radically... It speaks for itself - now we have almost nothing similar to the previous programm... Now we need to study "bloody" - SPECIFIC - subjects on the second course, when the professors must deliver general lectures,,,
There is no denying that I feel myself very upset... I'm disappointed...

Yesterday we went to the Scientific Development Institute of Evolutionary Physiology and Biochemistry of Sechenov to operate on the rat. I treat it quitely, but the result of that experiment was my swoon...

Now I want only one... If only I could turn back time!..
I would change my decision to study here.
But now I only should be strong to go this path to the end.

I've just noticed that my organism'd rather prefer to sit all night long with brushes, paints and sheets of paper (even though it worked hardly lots of time before) than sleep. But inspite of this fact I continue moaning that I want to sleep. Always. AL-WAYS.

Ohhhhh... My snail's waiting for me...
*gone painting*